In the News

The former South African president died Dec. 5.

The students’ complaints were many. Most of us know teenagers; some have lots of life complaints.

After roughly 45 minutes of patiently listening to them vent, I proposed a question.

What did you do about it?

The room became completely quiet and their faces showed bewilderment.

My 14-year-old daughter, Sajdah Abdul-Karim ,was among the eight students who’d been part of the conversation.

It was the perfect opportunity to empower them with a challenge. So I explained that sometimes you have to make people value what you believe in.

The challenge was to have students ask their principal or teachers to create a memorial on behalf of Mandela somewhere in their school.

Some immediately said that would never happen for a variety of reasons. So I left it alone and put the ownership in their hands. Unbeknownst to me, it worked. A few days later Sajdah said, “Dad I spoke with Mr. Ridgway (her social studies teacher) about the memorial and he thought it was a great idea,” she said.

Sajdah is an eighth grader at Wintergreen Interdistrict Magnet School in Hamden.

“I pulled him to the side and explained how valuable my African heritage is to me and a memorial of Nelson Mandela would be educational for all students in the school,” Sajdah said.

Talk about a proud father.

As a parent should, I followed up with an e-mail to Mr. Ridgway expressing my appreciation for taking interest in her request.

He responded and said he would allot time for those students who wished to work on the project.

According to Sajdah, Ridgway the next day told his social studies and language arts class, “One of your fellow classmates asked about making a memorial for Nelson Mandela.”

At that moment Sajdah said she was shock and surprised,

“I didn’t know Mr. Ridgway would allow us to start the project the next day,” she said.

Six other students decided to become part of the effort and worked on the project, seeking to educate others not only of the life of Mandela, but the accomplishments of people of African decent.

“I was surprised when Sajdah came to me with the request, I thought her request was worthy, but wasn’t sure what it would look like,” said Dave Ridgway, who has taught eight grade social studies for 14 years at the school.

“I was afraid they wouldn’t know about him, but they were not only pretty aware of who he was, but eager to talk about him,” he said.

According to Ridgway, he devoted an entire class session the day after Mandela passed, but said, “I hadn’t planned to spend much more time on it, but students had questions and it was refreshing to see that.”

The students dedicated five or six lunch periods to complete the Mandela project.

“I felt proud that I was able to this and excited that I didn’t know much about him before his death,” said Hope Hammond, 13, a student who worked on the project.

“Being able to look up quotes, understanding his heritage and where he was from gave me the chance to learn more about him,” Hope said.

Emile West, also 13, also worked on the project and said she is proud of her African roots.

“I was honored to know about our heritage and to know we are a proud people; it was good to learn about my roots,” Emile said. “Who we are as Africans in this country; feels good.”

Ridgway said the flag design idea was that of 13-year-old Kobe Grant. “They mapped it out ahead of time. I offered some advice when they asked, but it was all them,” Ridgway said.

Elvis Ycaza, 14 , said Mandela gave his life for the world.

“He gave his life for freedom, so we wanted to show our appreciation for what he did,” said Elvis. “This memorial helped me to appreciate who he was and what he did; I can relate to him because he’s a person of color.”

Sometimes our children are listening to us when we think they’re not.

We shouldn’t have to run to the school every time our children come to us with a concern or a problem.

Put the ownership back in their hands and see how they handle it, particularly if we feel they’re somewhat responsible.

Sajdah and I are always discussing the lack of people who look like her in school books.

I guess our conversation sparked enough fire under her for her to see the importance of standing, for something she values.

All they need is a little encouragement - it does build self-esteem and character.